Wednesday, September 30, 2009
12 Weeks
Emma is 12 weeks old today. To celebrate she developed a runny nose. She's a trooper. She was quite stuffed up this morning so we were up early with a screaming little one. She's been sleeping and eating well today so hopefully she will feel better soon. She's been smiling a lot too as you can see from the above pictures.
1st night in her crib
Dress from Auntie Jill
She usually has bubbles on her lips and drools.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Naps
Here are some pictures from this past weekend.
We began naps on our own this past weekend. A friend of mine lent me the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. So, instead of Emma taking naps on our shoulders and being with us 24/7 and not always getting naps we thought we would give this technique a try.
We started on Saturday. We watch for signs that she is getting tired. If we see a yawn and see her getting antsy those are usually pretty good signals. We put on a mini fan for some white noise and some soothing music (no music today), check diaper, lights off, snuggle in chair for a bit (2 seconds), swaddle her with her arms out while humming/singing Jesus Loves Me, lift her up and snuggle and lay her down. Say shh...shhh...shhh while patting/rubbing her back until she falls asleep. Saturday and Sunday were hard because she would cry for at least 20 minutes until she fell asleep (on her side). It just didn't seem to be working very well. Monday, after a friend mentioned trying her on her tummy since she can lift her head (no loose blankets, we check on her periodically, etc), I did that. She is asleep within 10 minutes of laying her down. She doesn't really cry, just complains some. On her side she slept for 20 minutes mostly, once almost an hour. On her belly she sleeps 2-2.5 hrs. at a time. What a difference! She is a much happier baby too which makes everyone, including the dog, happier! ha!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
From Sept. 4-15
At Auntie April's house
"I'm the Little Cutie" getting sick of pictures!
Will not usually sleep by herself, but decided this was the best way to sleep for a bit.
Chubby cheeks!
I left the room for a bit and Emmitt thought he should "protect" Emma in the swing.
Sleeping, but sleep -"squinted" at the light from the camera.
At work with Daddy.
Emma's future 1st grade teacher at Riverside Christian School.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
2 months old
Emma is 2 months old today or 9 weeks old tomorrow. She smiles back at you since about 5 weeks old. She makes "conversation" with you. She follows sounds some. She loves to look at lamps if they are on or off. She smiles and talks to one of them more than the others! heh If we hold her in a sitting position she can turn her head from one side to the other and back. She is about 12 lbs. I think.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It was all worth it!
This is the long thought about birth story. Many people have said that it is all worth it or asked if it was. I finally thought that when she was almost 2 months old. I love Emma and it took until then for me to spontaneously say that it was all worth it. The following birth story may be a little detailed for some. I will write a short version. Then the long, more detailed version.
Short version:
Water broke 1am 7/8/09. Got to the hospital close to 2am. Got pitocin sometime. Progressed to 4 cm. Emma's heartbeat plummeted if pitocin too high or I was positioned wrong. Got epidural around 6:30pm. Wasn't progressing and baby in a bit of distress so had an urgent c-section. Emma Joy was born at 9:46pm. 7lbs 11.6 oz. 20.5 in. lots of dark brown hair. Her breathing was weird that night but doctor attributes it to transitioning from womb. I was anemic from the c-section. I got pre-eclampsia the next day and infections. Needed to stay 6 days. Healing...it was all worth it!
Long version:
About 1am July 8, 2009, the day after our 2nd wedding anniversary, I woke up to use the bathroom as most pregnant women need to do. As I was getting out of bed my water broke. I said loudly as I ran to the bathroom "my water broke." As Blake was sleeping and did not understand me I repeated it. I called the birthing center and they said to come in and they would be ready for me. We scurried around getting what we needed and in the process we left some of we needed. ha! She was going to be exactly 2 weeks early!
The following may or may not be in exact order.
We got to the hospital a little bit before 2am. Blake brought me into the emergency room and a nice gentleman wheeled me up to the birthing center while Blake parked the car. I changed into a beautiful hospital gown. I was contracting throughout this and I felt a pain on my lower left abdomen. On the way I had text messaged my sister April, my mom, and my friend Neva. In the room, Blake was calling others, like his parents and his sister Jill in Armenia through skype on the laptop.
My last OB appointment with my doctor, Dr. Greek, was the day before so we knew he was going to be gone through the next Monday. This was a Wednesday. The nurses tried to contact him and my resident doctor, Dr. Lantoria. Neither answered the page. Later Dr. Lantoria was there through everything but Dr. Greek was on vacation. Bummer! They gave me the doctor on call but I had a couple through it all so I do not recall their names! ha! I was a bit busy to pay attention to that.
My first nurse's name was Megan. She was young and blonde and nice. She put the 2 monitors on my belly. They also put an IV in. A few people tried to do this. I told them I have bad veins. They tried twice on the top of my right hand. They eventually got one in on the top of my left hand. By then the top of my right hand where they tried had started to show bruises.
When they first checked everything they noticed that the baby had a small bowel movement, so meconium was in there. Baby also had a bigger bowel movement later. As a result NICU would need to be there for the birth to make sure baby wouldn't breathe any of it in.
I labored and did a lot of slow breathing during painful contractions. I stayed at 1 or 2 cm for awhile so they put me on pitocin through IV. I stayed in bed for quite awhile. I used the bathroom often. I never realized how much "liquid" and stuff comes out during labor. I did not like that. It was hard to submit to others taking care of me. Blake was on the computer a lot telling people updates on facebook, etc. He also would help me through contractions and be encouraging. There wasn't a lot that he could do. I preferred the TV off.
I ate a couple bites of orange jello and a few sips of apple juice.
I decided to try to sit on the birthing ball on the floor, lean on pillows on the bed, and rock slightly on that. I "enjoyed" that. I tried sitting in the rocking chair but had 3 contractions in a row with no break and baby's heartbeat plummeted. So, they had to lower the pitocin level and I needed to lay on my left side. Thank the Lord her heartbeat went back to normal! I finally progressed to 4 cm by 1pm. The doctors said now that I was at 4 it should progress faster. They said I was doing really well with my slow breathing, etc. I tried leaning on the ball with my knees on the bed. That wasn't so good. I labored and labored and began having painful back labor. Oh that is excruciating! I threw up twice.
Sometime one nurse realized that the sac hadn't burst all the way, so Dr. Lantoria tried to burst it. Then later they realized it still wasn't burst all the way so he did it again. What joy! One of my last nurses thought I was at a 10 but others checked and I hadn't progressed, so that was disappointing.
Finally I decided to get an epidural. I was getting so tired. I had been dozing between contractions believe it or not. My decision was based on tiredness and thinking that I still had about 6 cm to go and then I needed to push, etc. I needed some rest. I got the epidural about 6:30pm. By this time I had a few nurses. I remember one named Judy. Randall came and gave me an epidural. He had to wait because I threw up again. Then came relief. Awww...epidural. I could feel pressure during contractions and deep pressure during back labor. He also changed my IV location. He tried in my bruised right hand again and then the inside of my left wrist. He finally got it in the inside of my right wrist. Throughout all this some other poor woman was waiting for an epidural. I was so thankful I was first.
A couple hours later...or, so they checked me. One nurse thought I had progressed to a 5 or 6. Others didn't, so I am not really sure what the situation was. Dr. Lantoria, who understood that I had wanted to do everything natural, had to tell me that they were suggesting a c-section. Dr. Philpot explained about the baby. If I were laboring and progressing they probably wouldn't have. I was laboring and not really progressing and the baby was starting to show distress after the limit of 20 hours. So, sadly and gladly I agreed. Dr. Wildey would perform the surgery...
Now I was hooked up to IV, catheter, internal monitor for my contractions, and internal scalp monitor of baby's heartbeat.
Through all of this I kept making sure each new nurse, new doctor knew that NICU needed to be there. They all pretty much knew, but I guess I needed to be sure.
Blake put on blue scrubs so he could be in there with me. I had never been in the hospital and this would be my first major surgery.
They unhooked me from everything but the catheter and epidural I think. The NA came back to continue the epidural and anesthesia for the surgery. I signed all the paperwork, etc.
I was wheeled to the operating room. There they had me cross my arms across my chest so they could transfer me. That was scary. I felt like they would drop me. Trust! Then they tied my arms down with cloth - outward like Jesus I guess. This was so I wouldn't accidentally touch anything after it had been sanitized. All this time, I was shaking. They put warm blankets on my arms. I still shook but not as bad. They put the blue cloth up to block my view. They prepped me and Blake came in. He and the anesthetists were at my head. They would up my anesthesia when I needed it. Plus, they talked to me to help calm me. They asked if it was a boy or girl, name, etc. My right shoulder hurt at one time and Blake needed to rub it. They had a container to my left if I would throw up again. Blake was on my right.
I could feel pressure and heard lots of talking. The lights were really bright. Finally, they pressed really hard on my chest. I heard them say the cord was around her neck and there was a knot in it. Then the NA asked if it was a boy or girl. He said it was a girl. I kept waiting for a cry and there it came. They asked Blake if he wanted to cut the cord and he did. They brought her to my head when she was wrapped. I barely looked at her (which makes me cry when I think about it) because I was so tired and I was starting to feel more of what they were doing.
Blake went with to be with her while they finished with me. Next thing I knew I woke up still in the OR. They were finishing. They had put me out because I was feeling stuff. Dr. Wildey said I have lots of fibroids (one really big one-size of softball) on my uterus.
They had to transfer me again to a hospital bed. Being transferred when you can't feel your legs or anything was really scary. They wheeled me to the recovery room. Blake and Emma came in. The nurse helped me breastfeed her. Sadly, I do not remember a whole lot about that moment. I do remember that the nurse did most of it - helped with the football hold, latching, etc. Very helpful.
They wheeled me to a room. We were all together. Now we had a baby. Now what? ha!
It was nearing midnight so we decided to skype Jill (Blake's sister) and Kevin in Armenia since it was their morning. They were the first ones to see Emma. So far away...
So, a blur of meeting our daughter, having difficulty breastfeeding with IVs, pain from surgery, clear liquid diet, and excitement.
Now I am continuing to write as she is 4 months old now.
At some point the next morning Blake went home for a bit. During this time a new older nurse came in and noticed I was bleeding. I had been told that they would need to massage my belly some so I wanted to comply. But this was extreme. Blood had pooled and so she pushed down on my belly a lot. It was so painful. One of the worst things ever. This happened twice that it was this excruciating.
Ok, now she is 6 months old. I thought I should finish this. I can't remember as much now, but maybe that is a good thing. It seems I remember the bad things more than the good. Once in awhile I remember the sweet times and tell them to Emma.
I know that breastfeeding was difficult because my milk hadn't come in and we were both learning. The staff was awesome in helping, but it was my mom who was there with the best support. I continued to try feeding Emma with my IVs in places on my arms (inside elbow) that wouldn't allow me to bend it. Plus, due to the c-section I couldn't cradle her. I had to do the football hold. It was a struggle. Emma liked to sleep as most newborns do. We unclothed her, tickled her, talked to her, turned bright lights on to wake her to eat. Eventually I would get her into position and she had a little difficulty latching on. She would fall asleep quickly after that, so we'd have to start all over again!
She was losing too much weight so we were doctor ordered to supplement with formula. We used an SNS feeding system. The formula was in a syringe-type thing and we pushed it out into a tiny tube that went into her mouth while she was suckling. Very interesting. They had me use a pump to get things going and finally I was able to provide for her. Good thing because Emma was figuring out that she could get food very quickly from the tube and not me.
A day or 2 after she was born I had been sitting for quite awhile in the chair and had just "fed" Emma. I walked to the bathroom. I was quite cold and in there I began to shake. I barely made it to bed and I kept uncontrollable shaking. We called the nurse. They didn't come for about 10-15 minutes. We called again saying what was happening. They came right away. You know something is serious when about 6 people are around you. They called the doctor. They were trying to get an accurate blood pressure reading while I shook. They placed warmed up blankets on me. It was quite scary. I had stopped shaking by the time the doctor came. I had pre-eclampsia. The cure is giving birth. Well, I had done that so I needed to be on magnesium and then blood pressure meds. They had me on antibiotics for infections too.
I had been so glad to be up without IVs, oxygen thing on my toe that always slipped off and beeped, sleeves on my legs that kept circulation going, catheter, and now I had to have all of it back. Plus, they checked my blood pressure often and every day at about 6 or 7am they came and took blood from my arm to keep tabs on my anemia. One time the girl said my vein rolled so she pricked my finger and kept squeezing it until she got enough blood. One of my nurses came at about the same time. After the phlebotomist left the nurse asked if that was painful. I responded with a yes and that was one of the only times I felt a bit angry due to the pain.
One of my saddest memories is that I asked my mom and Blake to feed Emma that night because the magnesium and everything made me feel weird and so tired. They were able to do it by having the SNS tube there while she suckled one of their fingers. They were so good at taking care of her when I couldn't yet.
Also sad, more like excruciatingly sad, was during this time we found out our good friends Rick and Lisa Woodrow's baby girl went to heaven. Sophia was about 3 weeks old. We were mourning for our friends who were saying goodbye to their bundle as we were meeting ours. It tears me up always...
Anyway, I was supposed to try not to be too stimulated so my blood pressure would lower. My highest was somewhere around 180/90. Normal is 120/80 or lower. So, eventually I was on one blood pressure medication 4 times a day and another once a day. In the hospital they kept having to raise the dosage until my blood pressure lowered and stayed lower. It was very frustrating having to stay in the hospital that long. Each day I hoped that my blood pressure was lower and it wasn't and we'd have to stay another night. They told us that another couple were experiencing the same thing. They told us that the other lady responded with anger and threatened to leave against doctor's orders. I responded with crying out of frustration. Overwhelmed.
Eventually I started getting up more and walking to and from the bathroom, the chair, etc. Oh, those first few days of walking with a painful belly and to be careful not to use stomach muscles. Horrible!
Two days before I got out of the hospital Emma could have been discharged but she had lost over 10% of her birth weight. So we were able to send her to the nursery like we had most nights. She was a little yellow so they kept watch on the chance of jaundice. She wasn't and did well.
The day before I was discharged Emma was. So, we had her in my room for the first time all night. We knew it was going to be a challenge. I was still not totally stable. Emma didn't ever like being put down. Even the nurses said she was one that they didn't leave in the nursery because she cried. They held her in the nurses station. Sweet! A couple nurses did get her to sleep by herself I think. One with a pacifier. Probably one of a handful of times she took a pacifier. heh
That night was one of my good, still challenging, but good memories from the hospital. I didn't have anything connected to me. I had walked around pushing a wheelchair outside of the room for the first time. I could get up, although a little wobbly. I took the first part of the night with Emma. Blake had her the 2nd part. I asked the nurse what to do if she didn't want to sleep in the bassinet because she always wanted to be held. I asked if she could sleep in the bed with me. They of course did not recommend that!
So, I rocked her in the rocking chair. Oh what a good feeling to be able to take care of her a little bit. She fell asleep. So snuggly. So I tried laying her down in her bassinet. She wouldn't have anything to do with that after a few tries. Eventually I had her in bed with me. I think my milk was in at this point so the breastfeeding was a bit easier - sore, but easier. Then later Blake took her and slept with her in his arm in his bed. So nice. So easy. So natural. Our first night with her to ourselves.
Now I am writing when Emma will be a year in about a week.
We were tired the next day but we were able to go home. What a great feeling! Freedom to go home. I had my second shower that day I think. Oh those were nice but I needed a chair in there. Blake took care of a crying Emma during my shower. Good daddy. Dr. Greek came back to work that day. He had gone on a fishing trip in Canada. He visited us and met Emma. He missed everything but is still our doctor. He was very kind and sweet with Emma.
We dressed Emma in a yellow outfit with a duck on it. Not real girly but is what I hastily packed with "what if it isn't a girl" in mind. We tucked her in her carseat. She looked so small. I asked to be wheeled down to the car. Emma slept the whole time we had to wait for my many, many bottles of meds at the pharmacy and all the way home. My mom and Blake's parents met us at home. So did Emmitt. He barked and sniffed and Emma continued to sleep. I was very careful/fearful for him to jump on me since he hadn't seen me for about a week.
We were all home. 2 months later and I continue to believe this: It was all worth it! She is our little bundle of Emma Joy!
Short version:
Water broke 1am 7/8/09. Got to the hospital close to 2am. Got pitocin sometime. Progressed to 4 cm. Emma's heartbeat plummeted if pitocin too high or I was positioned wrong. Got epidural around 6:30pm. Wasn't progressing and baby in a bit of distress so had an urgent c-section. Emma Joy was born at 9:46pm. 7lbs 11.6 oz. 20.5 in. lots of dark brown hair. Her breathing was weird that night but doctor attributes it to transitioning from womb. I was anemic from the c-section. I got pre-eclampsia the next day and infections. Needed to stay 6 days. Healing...it was all worth it!
Long version:
About 1am July 8, 2009, the day after our 2nd wedding anniversary, I woke up to use the bathroom as most pregnant women need to do. As I was getting out of bed my water broke. I said loudly as I ran to the bathroom "my water broke." As Blake was sleeping and did not understand me I repeated it. I called the birthing center and they said to come in and they would be ready for me. We scurried around getting what we needed and in the process we left some of we needed. ha! She was going to be exactly 2 weeks early!
The following may or may not be in exact order.
We got to the hospital a little bit before 2am. Blake brought me into the emergency room and a nice gentleman wheeled me up to the birthing center while Blake parked the car. I changed into a beautiful hospital gown. I was contracting throughout this and I felt a pain on my lower left abdomen. On the way I had text messaged my sister April, my mom, and my friend Neva. In the room, Blake was calling others, like his parents and his sister Jill in Armenia through skype on the laptop.
My last OB appointment with my doctor, Dr. Greek, was the day before so we knew he was going to be gone through the next Monday. This was a Wednesday. The nurses tried to contact him and my resident doctor, Dr. Lantoria. Neither answered the page. Later Dr. Lantoria was there through everything but Dr. Greek was on vacation. Bummer! They gave me the doctor on call but I had a couple through it all so I do not recall their names! ha! I was a bit busy to pay attention to that.
My first nurse's name was Megan. She was young and blonde and nice. She put the 2 monitors on my belly. They also put an IV in. A few people tried to do this. I told them I have bad veins. They tried twice on the top of my right hand. They eventually got one in on the top of my left hand. By then the top of my right hand where they tried had started to show bruises.
When they first checked everything they noticed that the baby had a small bowel movement, so meconium was in there. Baby also had a bigger bowel movement later. As a result NICU would need to be there for the birth to make sure baby wouldn't breathe any of it in.
I labored and did a lot of slow breathing during painful contractions. I stayed at 1 or 2 cm for awhile so they put me on pitocin through IV. I stayed in bed for quite awhile. I used the bathroom often. I never realized how much "liquid" and stuff comes out during labor. I did not like that. It was hard to submit to others taking care of me. Blake was on the computer a lot telling people updates on facebook, etc. He also would help me through contractions and be encouraging. There wasn't a lot that he could do. I preferred the TV off.
I ate a couple bites of orange jello and a few sips of apple juice.
I decided to try to sit on the birthing ball on the floor, lean on pillows on the bed, and rock slightly on that. I "enjoyed" that. I tried sitting in the rocking chair but had 3 contractions in a row with no break and baby's heartbeat plummeted. So, they had to lower the pitocin level and I needed to lay on my left side. Thank the Lord her heartbeat went back to normal! I finally progressed to 4 cm by 1pm. The doctors said now that I was at 4 it should progress faster. They said I was doing really well with my slow breathing, etc. I tried leaning on the ball with my knees on the bed. That wasn't so good. I labored and labored and began having painful back labor. Oh that is excruciating! I threw up twice.
Sometime one nurse realized that the sac hadn't burst all the way, so Dr. Lantoria tried to burst it. Then later they realized it still wasn't burst all the way so he did it again. What joy! One of my last nurses thought I was at a 10 but others checked and I hadn't progressed, so that was disappointing.
Finally I decided to get an epidural. I was getting so tired. I had been dozing between contractions believe it or not. My decision was based on tiredness and thinking that I still had about 6 cm to go and then I needed to push, etc. I needed some rest. I got the epidural about 6:30pm. By this time I had a few nurses. I remember one named Judy. Randall came and gave me an epidural. He had to wait because I threw up again. Then came relief. Awww...epidural. I could feel pressure during contractions and deep pressure during back labor. He also changed my IV location. He tried in my bruised right hand again and then the inside of my left wrist. He finally got it in the inside of my right wrist. Throughout all this some other poor woman was waiting for an epidural. I was so thankful I was first.
A couple hours later...or, so they checked me. One nurse thought I had progressed to a 5 or 6. Others didn't, so I am not really sure what the situation was. Dr. Lantoria, who understood that I had wanted to do everything natural, had to tell me that they were suggesting a c-section. Dr. Philpot explained about the baby. If I were laboring and progressing they probably wouldn't have. I was laboring and not really progressing and the baby was starting to show distress after the limit of 20 hours. So, sadly and gladly I agreed. Dr. Wildey would perform the surgery...
Now I was hooked up to IV, catheter, internal monitor for my contractions, and internal scalp monitor of baby's heartbeat.
Through all of this I kept making sure each new nurse, new doctor knew that NICU needed to be there. They all pretty much knew, but I guess I needed to be sure.
Blake put on blue scrubs so he could be in there with me. I had never been in the hospital and this would be my first major surgery.
They unhooked me from everything but the catheter and epidural I think. The NA came back to continue the epidural and anesthesia for the surgery. I signed all the paperwork, etc.
I was wheeled to the operating room. There they had me cross my arms across my chest so they could transfer me. That was scary. I felt like they would drop me. Trust! Then they tied my arms down with cloth - outward like Jesus I guess. This was so I wouldn't accidentally touch anything after it had been sanitized. All this time, I was shaking. They put warm blankets on my arms. I still shook but not as bad. They put the blue cloth up to block my view. They prepped me and Blake came in. He and the anesthetists were at my head. They would up my anesthesia when I needed it. Plus, they talked to me to help calm me. They asked if it was a boy or girl, name, etc. My right shoulder hurt at one time and Blake needed to rub it. They had a container to my left if I would throw up again. Blake was on my right.
I could feel pressure and heard lots of talking. The lights were really bright. Finally, they pressed really hard on my chest. I heard them say the cord was around her neck and there was a knot in it. Then the NA asked if it was a boy or girl. He said it was a girl. I kept waiting for a cry and there it came. They asked Blake if he wanted to cut the cord and he did. They brought her to my head when she was wrapped. I barely looked at her (which makes me cry when I think about it) because I was so tired and I was starting to feel more of what they were doing.
Blake went with to be with her while they finished with me. Next thing I knew I woke up still in the OR. They were finishing. They had put me out because I was feeling stuff. Dr. Wildey said I have lots of fibroids (one really big one-size of softball) on my uterus.
They had to transfer me again to a hospital bed. Being transferred when you can't feel your legs or anything was really scary. They wheeled me to the recovery room. Blake and Emma came in. The nurse helped me breastfeed her. Sadly, I do not remember a whole lot about that moment. I do remember that the nurse did most of it - helped with the football hold, latching, etc. Very helpful.
They wheeled me to a room. We were all together. Now we had a baby. Now what? ha!
It was nearing midnight so we decided to skype Jill (Blake's sister) and Kevin in Armenia since it was their morning. They were the first ones to see Emma. So far away...
So, a blur of meeting our daughter, having difficulty breastfeeding with IVs, pain from surgery, clear liquid diet, and excitement.
Now I am continuing to write as she is 4 months old now.
At some point the next morning Blake went home for a bit. During this time a new older nurse came in and noticed I was bleeding. I had been told that they would need to massage my belly some so I wanted to comply. But this was extreme. Blood had pooled and so she pushed down on my belly a lot. It was so painful. One of the worst things ever. This happened twice that it was this excruciating.
Ok, now she is 6 months old. I thought I should finish this. I can't remember as much now, but maybe that is a good thing. It seems I remember the bad things more than the good. Once in awhile I remember the sweet times and tell them to Emma.
I know that breastfeeding was difficult because my milk hadn't come in and we were both learning. The staff was awesome in helping, but it was my mom who was there with the best support. I continued to try feeding Emma with my IVs in places on my arms (inside elbow) that wouldn't allow me to bend it. Plus, due to the c-section I couldn't cradle her. I had to do the football hold. It was a struggle. Emma liked to sleep as most newborns do. We unclothed her, tickled her, talked to her, turned bright lights on to wake her to eat. Eventually I would get her into position and she had a little difficulty latching on. She would fall asleep quickly after that, so we'd have to start all over again!
She was losing too much weight so we were doctor ordered to supplement with formula. We used an SNS feeding system. The formula was in a syringe-type thing and we pushed it out into a tiny tube that went into her mouth while she was suckling. Very interesting. They had me use a pump to get things going and finally I was able to provide for her. Good thing because Emma was figuring out that she could get food very quickly from the tube and not me.
A day or 2 after she was born I had been sitting for quite awhile in the chair and had just "fed" Emma. I walked to the bathroom. I was quite cold and in there I began to shake. I barely made it to bed and I kept uncontrollable shaking. We called the nurse. They didn't come for about 10-15 minutes. We called again saying what was happening. They came right away. You know something is serious when about 6 people are around you. They called the doctor. They were trying to get an accurate blood pressure reading while I shook. They placed warmed up blankets on me. It was quite scary. I had stopped shaking by the time the doctor came. I had pre-eclampsia. The cure is giving birth. Well, I had done that so I needed to be on magnesium and then blood pressure meds. They had me on antibiotics for infections too.
I had been so glad to be up without IVs, oxygen thing on my toe that always slipped off and beeped, sleeves on my legs that kept circulation going, catheter, and now I had to have all of it back. Plus, they checked my blood pressure often and every day at about 6 or 7am they came and took blood from my arm to keep tabs on my anemia. One time the girl said my vein rolled so she pricked my finger and kept squeezing it until she got enough blood. One of my nurses came at about the same time. After the phlebotomist left the nurse asked if that was painful. I responded with a yes and that was one of the only times I felt a bit angry due to the pain.
One of my saddest memories is that I asked my mom and Blake to feed Emma that night because the magnesium and everything made me feel weird and so tired. They were able to do it by having the SNS tube there while she suckled one of their fingers. They were so good at taking care of her when I couldn't yet.
Also sad, more like excruciatingly sad, was during this time we found out our good friends Rick and Lisa Woodrow's baby girl went to heaven. Sophia was about 3 weeks old. We were mourning for our friends who were saying goodbye to their bundle as we were meeting ours. It tears me up always...
Anyway, I was supposed to try not to be too stimulated so my blood pressure would lower. My highest was somewhere around 180/90. Normal is 120/80 or lower. So, eventually I was on one blood pressure medication 4 times a day and another once a day. In the hospital they kept having to raise the dosage until my blood pressure lowered and stayed lower. It was very frustrating having to stay in the hospital that long. Each day I hoped that my blood pressure was lower and it wasn't and we'd have to stay another night. They told us that another couple were experiencing the same thing. They told us that the other lady responded with anger and threatened to leave against doctor's orders. I responded with crying out of frustration. Overwhelmed.
Eventually I started getting up more and walking to and from the bathroom, the chair, etc. Oh, those first few days of walking with a painful belly and to be careful not to use stomach muscles. Horrible!
Two days before I got out of the hospital Emma could have been discharged but she had lost over 10% of her birth weight. So we were able to send her to the nursery like we had most nights. She was a little yellow so they kept watch on the chance of jaundice. She wasn't and did well.
The day before I was discharged Emma was. So, we had her in my room for the first time all night. We knew it was going to be a challenge. I was still not totally stable. Emma didn't ever like being put down. Even the nurses said she was one that they didn't leave in the nursery because she cried. They held her in the nurses station. Sweet! A couple nurses did get her to sleep by herself I think. One with a pacifier. Probably one of a handful of times she took a pacifier. heh
That night was one of my good, still challenging, but good memories from the hospital. I didn't have anything connected to me. I had walked around pushing a wheelchair outside of the room for the first time. I could get up, although a little wobbly. I took the first part of the night with Emma. Blake had her the 2nd part. I asked the nurse what to do if she didn't want to sleep in the bassinet because she always wanted to be held. I asked if she could sleep in the bed with me. They of course did not recommend that!
So, I rocked her in the rocking chair. Oh what a good feeling to be able to take care of her a little bit. She fell asleep. So snuggly. So I tried laying her down in her bassinet. She wouldn't have anything to do with that after a few tries. Eventually I had her in bed with me. I think my milk was in at this point so the breastfeeding was a bit easier - sore, but easier. Then later Blake took her and slept with her in his arm in his bed. So nice. So easy. So natural. Our first night with her to ourselves.
Now I am writing when Emma will be a year in about a week.
We were tired the next day but we were able to go home. What a great feeling! Freedom to go home. I had my second shower that day I think. Oh those were nice but I needed a chair in there. Blake took care of a crying Emma during my shower. Good daddy. Dr. Greek came back to work that day. He had gone on a fishing trip in Canada. He visited us and met Emma. He missed everything but is still our doctor. He was very kind and sweet with Emma.
We dressed Emma in a yellow outfit with a duck on it. Not real girly but is what I hastily packed with "what if it isn't a girl" in mind. We tucked her in her carseat. She looked so small. I asked to be wheeled down to the car. Emma slept the whole time we had to wait for my many, many bottles of meds at the pharmacy and all the way home. My mom and Blake's parents met us at home. So did Emmitt. He barked and sniffed and Emma continued to sleep. I was very careful/fearful for him to jump on me since he hadn't seen me for about a week.
We were all home. 2 months later and I continue to believe this: It was all worth it! She is our little bundle of Emma Joy!
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